Sex and the Modern Republican

Details of former Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert’s sex abuse scandal are becoming increasingly grisly. The prospect of a second Clinton Administration is forcing us to look back on the first one with new eyes.

It turns out that the men prosecuting Bill Clinton for lying under oath about his sexual harassment of subordinates were themselves operating from a remarkably compromised position. A long list of Republican Congressmen who grandstanded on Clinton’s behavior were simultaneously involved in their own similar affairs. Many of of them faced prosecution for those or other matters. Hastert himself is almost certainly headed to prison.

Here are a few legacy GOPLifer pieces that examined sex in politics through a Republican lens.

Sex Tips for Politicians

“Regardless of your party affiliation, policy positions, or the “substantive issues” you think people ought to be focusing their attention on, you will need to have a plan for what to do when (let’s just skip the “if”) those animals in the lamestream media notice what you’ve been doing with your Twitter feed.  I want to help you help me by having your lewd behavior disappear quickly from the headlines.”

Dirty Old Men

“DeMint defended his 2004 statement that homosexuals and women (only women) who are having sex outside of marriage should be barred from the teaching profession.  Why?  To protect religious freedom, obviously.  How can I possibly experience the free expression of my faith if you’re out there shamelessly doing whatever you want with your filthy, shameful, tender, luscious young body?”

Taking a Wide Stance on Gay Issues

This month marks the third anniversary of the Republican Party’s Summer of Love; hot, gay, illegal love.  It was on June 11 that staunch anti-gay Senator Larry Craig was arrested for soliciting gay sex from an undercover officer in the Minneapolis-St Paul airport.  Craig followed the incident with a series of progressively more awkward public statements in which he denied being homosexual and bragged about how incredibly butch he was.  He continues to publicly insist that it was all a big misunderstanding.

Chick-fil-A, Gay Marriage, and Your Grandchildren

“Maybe you can sit across the table from a beloved friend and tell them that your straight family is more legitimate, more right, more legally and politically appropriate than theirs.  Perhaps you can look into the eyes of people you care for and respect and explain that providing their children with the full legal protection of an official family would threaten something important that no one seems to be able to coherently define.

“I am not going to do that.  Eat your sandwich alone.”

Chris Ladd is a Texan living in the Chicago area. He has been involved in grassroots Republican politics for most of his life. He was a Republican precinct committeeman in suburban Chicago until he resigned from the party and his position after the 2016 Republican Convention. He can be reached at gopliferchicago at gmail dot com.

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33 comments on “Sex and the Modern Republican
  1. Rob Ambrose says:

    Interesting article on the rising influence of the Satanic Temple.

    http://www.rawstory.com/2016/04/when-satanists-act-more-like-jesus-than-christians-do/

    I doubt I’d become a card carrying Satanist (my mother would have a heart attack lol) but of everything out there, these guys seem to reflect my values the best.

    Its really more of a political movement then a religion, but they’re doing lots of good.

    For the record, they don’t actually worship Satan.

    • Pseudoperson Randomian says:

      The satanic Temple is an atheist shell organization (Do not confuse with Satanic Church). Their goals and ideology and rules are humanist.

      From what I’ve read, they use that organization to prevent religious influences in public institutions. For example, public school decides to give out Bibles to their students? Sue to give out Satanic Temple material and the school decides distributing religious material was a bad idea after all.

      It’s smart but it only works as long as people are moral-panicking over it, because Satan.

    • rulezero says:

      I was very proud to donate to their statue campaign. That’s the one they threatened to erect in Oklahoma right next to the 10 Commandments.

      Their children’s coloring books are kinda nifty, too.

  2. flypusher says:

    On the first point, I so truly hope that that scumbag Hastert dies in prison. IIRC one of the kids he molested eventually committed suicide.

    The “Hastert rule” needs to go away forever too. It’s not to only thing that killed off most of the cooperation between parties in Congress, but it sure did help.

    • Sir Magpie De Crow says:

      Here is a topical story related to this latest posting on GOPlifer.

      Oh Lady Irony… I truly love you. And Lady Karma… you are my kind of a bad-ass B****!

      Here the latest on the family values Indiana House leader who pushed for a religious freedom law. He has some big problems. Some people past 50 should never be given a smart phone.

      http://www.salon.com/2015/09/30/indiana_gops_house_leader_resigns_after_texting_sexually_explicit_video_of_himself_cheating_on_wife_to_everyone_on_his_contacts_list/

      • flypusher says:

        Not that my cynicsm towards those who preach on “family values” the loudest needed any more feeding, but, welcome to the buffet.

      • Sir Magpie De Crow says:

        I shall call this “The Accidential 21st Century social media suicide of Jud McMillin”

        There is being a jerk, there being a douche, and then there is being an a**hole. And then there is this guy who is now in a unique category of his own. This guy, if he has any aunts or uncles still alive (or parents!) has probably just sent them a video of him mounting a woman other than his wife.

        Heart attack fuel to be sure.

        Thanksgiving dinners I’m afraid will never be the same for that man.

        “Indiana GOP’s House Leader resigns after texting sexually explicit video of himself cheating on wife to everyone on his “Contacts” list”

        “The family-values friendly Jud McMillin claimed his phone was “stolen in Canada,” but resigned in disgrace anyway”

        “After news of the mass-texting began to circulate, Representative Jud McMillin (R) claimed that his “phone was stolen in Canada and out of my control for about 24 hours. I have just been able to reactivate it under my control. Please disregard any messages you received recently. I am truly sorry for anything offensive you may have received.”

        Mr. McMillin, please. You are using “My Canadian girlfriend stole my phone” defense?

        You can’t blame this on Canada. I have already seen that movie… snappy musical number by the way.

        Just stop it social conservatives. Don’t be against the marriage equality in the name of defending tradition marriage/family values, especially if you cheat on your wives while making amateur pornography in the process.

        No offence but it make you guys look like cruel, bigoted, hypocritical, amoral d*cks.

        I’m looking at you Gingrich.

        You are now just humiliating yourselves and wasting all our time in your false zeal to turn the LGBT community into useful scapegoats (now that black people, Latino immigrants, muslims, hard working elementary teachers and anti-rape college activists are old hat).

        If the Dennis Hastert/Josh Duggar scandals of violating kids/and or pornstars doesn’t deflate the bunk “Religious Freedom law” movement… I don’t know what will.

      • 1mime says:

        I keep sayin’ we need to start a GOP caught in a compromising position list…..

      • Sir Magpie De Crow says:

        Poop is getting deep. Interesting fellow, this Jud McMillin:

        “While He Was a Prosecutor, McMillin Was Removed From a Case After He Had Sex With & Texted a Domestic Abuse Victim ‘Sexual Photographs’ ”

        Wow. Maybe this is a cry for help. Maybe he is just not attracted to his wife anymore and it is hard for him to avoid the temptation of young nubile flesh, women throwing themselves at him in the hedonistic pursuit of being close to money and power. Maybe his wife isn’t providing the emotional support he needs to give him the energy to deal with serious issues in the Indiana legislature.

        Perhaps a picture of his unattractive, slumpy, morbidly obese wife might mitigate…

        Nope.
        https://heavyeditorial.files.wordpress.com/2015/09/natasha-mcmillin.jpg?quality=65&strip=all&strip=all

        Well that settles it.

        He’s just a cynical moralizing dumba** with an overactive libido. Judging by the pic of his wife Natasha McMillin, Jud just has the same form of insanity that made that r&b singer cheat on Halle Berry. No known cure.

      • Sir Magpie De Crow says:

        Correction: My crack about Jud McMillin and 50 year olds was not accurate. He is only 39, and a former prosecutor. Senility is not the issue in regard to this smartphone cheating cluster***k. His main problem is he sees his penis as a nail that needs to hammered into everybody.

        In other words, he’s a tool.

    • Sir magpie de Crow says:

      Oh for f***’s sake!

      Breaking: Utah Governor Gary Herbert is about to declare Pornography a Public Health Hazard.

      http://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/utah-governor-gary-herbert-declare-porn-public-health-hazard-n558286

      I bet a million dollars or my copy of the first issue of the Deadpool mini-series comic from the 90’s that this guy is probably going to be are next Dennis Hastert.

      Hey, Gary how about you focus on a real enduring problem and travesty in your state… the continued presence of the power and influence of the United States of Warren Jeffs. Why don’t you do something about the acolytes of that jailed creep-a-zoid.

      … or how about guns?
      I think those things hurt a lot of people too.

      http://s1.ibtimes.com/sites/www.ibtimes.com/files/styles/v2_article_large/public/2012/10/03/2011/07/29/140025-warren-jeffs.jpg?itok=7C8NuM6H

      • vikinghou says:

        It’s rather amusing that, according to this article, a Harvard study back in 2009 found that Utah’s religious residents were the nation’s top consumers of online porn.

  3. Houston-stay-at-Homer says:

    One of the above comments talked about the goal of delaying sex for young people.

    My wife and I had this conversation recently about our kids. We fortunately have several years to figure this out – probably hard to date when you have not yet mastered not pooping on yourself (unless that is your thing).

    My wife and I both had sex (not with each other) for the first time while in high school. We didn’t get married until I was in my 30s and she was in her late 20s. The average American is not getting married until their upper 20s today.

    It is simply unrealistic to expect a majority of people to delay having sex until their late 20s. I’m not sure why that should even be a goal for people, unless they have religious or personal reasons for delaying that.

    Looking back, there are undoubtedly people with which my wife or I prefer that we didn’t have sex with, but for the most part, it was a healthy, fun, and inexpensive way to spend quality time with people you like in college, graduate school, and adulthood.

    Over the course of our conversation, we went from “of course we wouldn’t want them to have sex in high school” to “well, we had sex in high school and it wasn’t a bad thing at all” to “geez, do we really want to be a don’t do what I did parent” as long as everyone uses protection and everyone communicates well.

    Obviously, there is something to being too young for sex, but is 17 too young? Not according to most research.

    Unplanned pregnancy and STDs are problems, but there are ways to address those issues that are much more practical and effective than trying to get people to not have sex.

    If someone has personal reasons for delaying sex, then we should all support that, but having official goals of delaying sex until marriage just seems silly (at least for most people).

    Be sure to bring this up to me if we are all still here in 14 years when I have two hormone-filled 17 year old boys and a 15 year old wanting to do everything his older brothers do.

    • 1mime says:

      And, as I recall, the fifteen year old is quite capable of knocking the shit out of the twins if they give him any trouble (-;

      Yours is a great philosophy, Homer. The one thing I would add is to remove the shame, expense and ease of access for contraception for all people, including our young – who – as you point out, are not into “holding hands” as a substitute for the real thing. Contraception prevents so many problems – the little ones who ‘poop’ themselves and lots of detours to one’s career path.

      I have a friends of over 55 years who have “embraced” the whole “born again” experience – which is fine – but they take things to such extremes – no R rated movies, worry about anyone around their grandkids who “might” be gay, and all sorts of other phobias. Oh, did I mention they’re big “Cruz” supporters? If I wasn’t so secure in my own set of convictions, I’d feel like a pagan around them…As it is, I just feel sorry for them and accept them as they are.

    • flypusher says:

      “If someone has personal reasons for delaying sex, then we should all support that, but having official goals of delaying sex until marriage just seems silly (at least for most people).”

      I think the goal should be delaying sex until you are mature enough to deal with it and any consequences. Which likely precludes the 14 year olds and wouldn’t mandate wait until marriage either. Also that everyone’s point of maturity is going to be different.

      I know a lot of religious people think that “saving yourself for marriage” is this great gift you’re giving your future spouse, and to each their own, but seriously, if I was looking to get married, things like being treated with respect, loyalty, honesty, and compatible intellects are what would matter to me, not virginity. In fact, I’d consider a little experience to be a good thing.

    • vikinghou says:

      It’s ludicrous to expect most young people to be abstinent in today’s hypersexed society. Sex is everywhere in entertainment, advertising and most other media outlets. I’m not a parent so am hesitant to give advice. But, it seems to me that the best course of action would be to make sure that children be taught all about sex and contraception at an early age, along with the responsibilities that go along with becoming sexually active. And teach them that sex and nudity aren’t “dirty.” The truth will set them free.

    • Rob Ambrose says:

      Homer, for the life of me, I can’t imagine why one would even WANT to wait until marriage, even if it were realistic (with the average marriage age in the late 20’s, it most certainly is not).

      Sex is an incredibly important part of any relationship, and some ppl are just not compatible. A lifetime of an unsatisfying sex life is a misery nobody wants to go through. Its probably responsible for more affairs and resentments then any other single factor.

      To me, entering marriage without having sex (either at all or with your future spouse) is just as f’n insane as an arranged marriage where you never met the person.

      You wouldn’t marry someone without knowing if their personality meshes with yours. Why would you do the same regarding sexual compatibility?

      • 1mime says:

        Well, Rob, it’s a good thing this Republican blog only has one active Republican commenting! You’re safe with all we heathens!!!

      • flypusher says:

        “You wouldn’t marry someone without knowing if their personality meshes with yours. Why would you do the same regarding sexual compatibility?”

        Back in the “good old days” a divorce would been difficult if not impossible to get, domestic violence wasn’t considered a crime, and women didn’t have a lot of economic independence, so if you got someone who wasn’t compatible, you were pretty much stuck.

  4. 1mime says:

    And, should Cruz be elected President, you will have the “dildo commander in chief” running the WH….It’ s hard to imagine the Republican Party drifting even “more” right, but here’s a guy that can make it happen…..

    http://www.nytimes.com/2016/04/18/us/politics/ted-cruz-conservative.html?utm_source=&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=1270&_r=0

  5. Rob Ambrose says:

    So you’re telling me that the loudest moralizers are often the worst offenders?

    I’m shocked – shocked! – to find hypocrisy in this (gop) establishment

    • 1mime says:

      Don’t overlook the quiet, pious ones leading Sunday School….Here’s the deal: as far as I’m concerned, people can do what they want to do within the privacy of their homes (not the oval office!) as long as no one is hurt and all are consenting and there is a modicum of respect for their larger environment. IOW, respect my rights too. If I lived next door, I might be concerned about my grandchildren asking questions about the people next door, but I’d be even more concerned about my grandchildren when they went out with their gang….

      People need to get a grip and a life – just not mine.

    • Sir Magpie De Crow says:

      Here is a handy little post I wrote on April 9th regarding the history of sexually/ethically compromised moralizers in the GOP over the past 20 years.

      I think it kinda reads like a mash-up book passage that is composed of lines by Stephen E. Ambrose, Eugene Ionesco and George Carlin… with narration by Hunter S. Thompson.

      “History, I like studying it. Particularly the history of modern American politics. Not to get off topic from the focus on the passing of a music legend but our political history of late would be worthy of many songs, ballads or at least a triple album from Weird Al Yankovic.

      Consider the revelations and the impending final judgement of former Speaker of the House (Republican) Dennis Hastert. Second in line to the presidency, longest serving Republican Speaker of the House in history.

      ….And lastly he was a serial rapist/pedophile in his previous public life as a high school teacher/wrestling coach who was willing to lie to federal authorities/law enforcement in an effort to hide his inglorious personal history of unspeakable crimes.

      But at least Bill Clinton got impeached over sexual acts with a consenting adult.

      Here is a little flashback:

      President Clinton got oral sex from an intern. He then was getting impeached over lying about said affair in a legal deposition. Newt Gingrich was pushing for his impeachment or resignation. Turns out he was cheating on his second wife with a twenty-something congressional aide (kinda like Bill).

      The impeachment effort failed. A disappointing midterm election for Republicans cause Gingrich to fall. Rising star Bob Livingston was going take over. He didn’t because Larry Flint of Hustler fame/infamy helped spill the beans on Bob’s sexual exploits.

      He effectively resigns and calls on Bill Clinton to do the same even before he takes over. Republicans are shocked as hell and cry like little girls in the halls of the Capital.

      The resulting power vacuum in the house empowers a first class a**hole named Tom Delay, The Republican majority leader, who essentially hand picks the little known congressman Dennis Hastert to be the next Speaker of The House.

      Tom Delay would in turn fall in part because of his collective b*llshit that was arguable the result of his odious affiliation with Jack “Casino Jack” Abramoff. Abramoff goes to prison and later gets work making pizzas. Delay avoids it. So much for their master plan of an enduring Republican Permanent Majority.

      Lasted about as long as the Third Reich if you ask me.

      Bob Livingston departure leaves a power vacuum in Louisiana. Of all people, family values politician David Vitter fills the void, becomes a senator while screwing prostitutes while wearing allegedly diapers. A black book of a DC Madam revealed this stunning hypocrisy. He survived the scandal only to lose the governorship years later.

      The DC Madam killed herself after being convicted of money laundering.

      Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert who ran a relatively tight ship in the house for the GOP until he lost the speakership because of his disinterest and dereliction of duty in disciplining Republican congressmen like Mark Foley, who was sexting to teenage male pages.

      Foley becomes an overnight internet gross-sation when his texted attempts at wooing young boys gets readings by edgy comedians.

      Now we know why Hastert failed in punishing Foley, cause he was a big old pedophile too who has destroyed the lives of heaven knows how many boys and young men.

      Hastert in turn would be prosecuted by an administration of Barack Obama who was aided in his rise to power in Illinois when his would be opponent Jack Ryan on the Republican side lost his shot at running for senator when it turned out he had tried to force his actress wife (now ex-wife) Jeri Ryan (Star Trek’s Seven of Nine) to have sex in public at kinky sex clubs. Obama’s G-Men were using provisions of the Patriot Act that passed under Hastert’s watch when he was still Speaker.

      Irony alert!

      Despite all this absurd collection of horrific s**t and compromised political titans the GOP base seems on the cusp of choosing a pure shameless misogynist… who is completely morally bankrupt and occasional financially bankrupt… who likes to play coy on the question of whether any of the married women he had affairs with in the past had abortions.

      So what does this all mean?
      F**K IF I KNOW!”

  6. Griffin says:

    “and not compare any young women with any sexual experience to chewed up pieces of gum??????”

    These days it’s more common to compare them to pieces of chocolate that have been passed around, because apparently religious conservatives don’t understand how the human body operates.

    http://www.salon.com/2014/04/04/mississippi_sex_ed_curriculum_compares_sexually_active_teen_girls_to_dirty_chocolate/

    Oh Mississippi you never fail to disappoint.

  7. flypusher says:

    No doubt that Clinton lied, but a consensual affair between adults ain’t harassment. Whatever happened with Lewinsky had no relevance to the suit brought by Jones. No doubt if Bill had a do-over, he would have just quietly settled. Or maybe “said none of your $&@# business!” And to repeat myself, I think Larry Flynt is a lowest of the low sleazoid bottom-feeder, but I thank him again for exposing those self-righteous hypocrites.

    America’s total split personality over sexual matters never ceases to amaze/ amuse/ totally annoy me. Could we please reach some national middle ground, where we can agree that lots of casual, meaningless sex does have bad consequences, but also get over this virginity fetish, and not compare any young women with any sexual experience to chewed up pieces of gum??????

    Work cancelled due to weather, but so far so good at Chez Fly. I hope everyone else in the Houston metro region are spared the floods.

    • Creigh says:

      Ha! For once I get to share the Texas experience, having spent the weekend camping at a music festival near Austin. It was a bit of a Woodstock-y experience mud-wise, we actually got stuck a bit trying to leave, but fortunately we were able to throw a banjo or two under the wheels and get some traction

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