Sen. Cruz knows his audience and they write in crayon

When I first saw that Ted Cruz had released a coloring book I thought it was a joke. After further inspection, it is still a joke, just not the satirical one I was expecting.

From the product summary:

The Cruz to the Future book is a non-partisan, fact-driven view of how Texas Sen. Rafael Edward Ted Cruz became a U.S. senator and details, through his quotes and public information his ideas for what he believes will help America grow.

Because the words that come to mind when you think of Rafael Cruz are “non-partisan” and “fact-driven.”

It’s the perfect gift for the kid who has everything except unfiltered access to information. Please visit the Amazon page and for the love of all that’s holy, take time to look at the pictures. You have to look at the pictures.


Chris Ladd is a Texan living in the Chicago area. He has been involved in grassroots Republican politics for most of his life. He was a Republican precinct committeeman in suburban Chicago until he resigned from the party and his position after the 2016 Republican Convention. He can be reached at gopliferchicago at gmail dot com.

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8 comments on “Sen. Cruz knows his audience and they write in crayon
  1. flypusher says:

    The comments! You have to read the reviewers’ comments!!!!!!!!

    A beautiful tongue-in-cheek effort:

    “Oh where to start? All great works of art work on more than one level and this book delivers. It offers a history and a dissection of the philosophy of of one of the greatest men since the Dalai Lama and as an added bonus, distinct, sharp, bold lines are offered to the reader to shade with various colors of their choosing. Dostoevsky would have admired the writers and publishers (The Big Coloring Book Company) for their depiction of a man even more complex than the character Raskolnikov from Fydor’s most famous book. Although Raskolnikov and Cruz shared few similarities, they were, and are, In Cruz’s case doing what they feel is the right thing. Cruz’s Filibuster (I have the entire text) rivals the courtroom scene of confession and closing chapter of redemption in the closing pages of Crime and Punishment. Much like Raskolnikov, Cruz articulates himself in a way unparalleled even by Noam Chomsky. Now let’s proceed to the artwork. As one can tell from the cover, the lines are rendered in a style reminiscent of some of the great realists, but not to the point of discrediting foreground and background contrast. The emotion and devotion portrayed in the second amendment page page gives one a sense of belonging, that is, belonging to a unified nation which this man has devoted his life to. My only complaint (and I hope it comes to fruition) is a coffee table version of this work and the Tea Party Coloring Book. One could display a handsome quality bound edition next to any Dali volume and utilize the softback version for creative outlet. This is highly recommended!”

    (Credit goes to one Sleestak)

    And a more serious response from Karen:

    “This book makes a point that Obamacare is worse then war for out troops because they could defend themselves in war. As a Marine Infantryman who served two tours in Iraq, survived an IED attack, and must forever live with the loss of some of the greatest people I’ll have ever had the privilege to know i respectfully ask this author and Cruz to go to hell. If had to choose between paying 100% more for insurance, losing my doctor, and facing a death panel, or go to war and loose my friends and mind i would Obamacare. K Thx”

  2. DanMan says:

    I like how he animates liberal democraticals. And does it so easily.

    And the attention he directs to kids is refreshingly different than say Dem Sen. Bob Menendez or Obama’s Kevin Jennings pick at the Dept. of Education.

  3. Turtles Run says:

    “Speaking with clairvoyant precision, it was if Ted could see the immediate future of the quickly approaching Obama Care disaster”

    This was the second funniest line in the picture sample given. I did not know reciting an irony laced rendition on Green Eggs & Ham was the standard for speaking with clairvoyant precision.

    The funniest line is the one that claims this coloring book is approved by teachers and educators.

    In homage to Ted Cruz’s Star Wars remark to Senator Mike Lee (R-Utah).

    Don’t try to frighten us with your sorcerer’s ways, Lord Cruz. Your sad devotion to that ancient tea party religion has not helped you conjure up the stolen Benghazi tapes, or given you enough clairvoyance to find out people without health insurance really like having the chance to get it….

  4. geoff1968 says:

    Quantum Entanglement or…a coloring book! I just bought one.

    I thought it was a joke the first time I heard about it too. It’s better than the Onion, it’s real.

  5. […] sure to order your coloring book! And for the love of all that's holy, look at the pictures on the Amazon link. You have to look at […]

  6. crogged says:

    Maybe our hero will campaign on never forgetting the third amendment.

  7. JohnGalt says:

    I totally just ordered that comic book. What a fantastic gag gift!

    • flypusher says:

      Methinks that the gag-gift category is going to account for a significant percentage of the sales.

      And I was just at a party with a white-elephant gift exchange a few days ago!

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